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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Day 283 and I went to the pity party

Well, over the last couple of months I've shared some of the things that I learned from Denise Ryan about stress management and keeping our flames going. Yesterday, I was typing up some notes from the conference so I would have them on my computer and one of Denise's nuggets of wisdom was: Don't go to the pity party. In other words, don't feel sorry for yourself.

Then came today and a call from a bill collector. Now first let me back up by saying that I was woke up at 2:00 a.m. with a horrible coughing fit and made the mistake of taking 12 hour cough syrup which in retrospect probably wasn't the greatest idea. LOL. But at the time I wasn't thinking, I was just desperate to stop coughing. So coupled with being tired anyway from waking up in the middle of the night, I was kind of groggy from the cough medicine. Plus this has been a rough month (financially and emotionally) with Tom and I both being sick and my openings still being well...open and I just felt emotionally raw this morning. So when the lady calls, I answer the phone, she asks for me. I told her it was me and she asks about our payment for this month. I said, well, it's not even due until the 25th to which she replied that she has it down for the 20th. I said well, I don't know what to tell you. When I started sending payments to you back in April, I told you that I would send a payment by the end of each month. You arbitrarily put a date of the 25th on that and have now apparently moved it to the 20th. So anyway, she very kindly (said sarcastically!) offered to move it to the 30th. I told her I would get a payment in the mail by the end of the month to which she yelled at me that the payment had to be in their office by the end of the month. That went back and forth a little bit with her yelling at me and me trying to talk to her. Finally, I just said "I'll do the best I can do. I will have a payment in the mail to you by the end of the month. Once it is in the mail, I have no control over how long it takes to get there. Thank you and have a good day" and I hung up. She was still talking. So anyway, after that, I was crying and frustrated and feeling like giving up. Sometimes this all gets so overwhelming. Even though we've paid off over $9000, we still have such a long ways to go and sometimes I wonder if we'll make it. So anyway, I went to the pity party. After some prayer and some deep breaths and a talk with a friend, I felt much better. I know we can't do this alone but we are not alone. We are doing what God wants us to do, we are doing what is best for our family, and we have God on our side, and the support of family and friends.

4 comments:

Mom Thumb said...

I don't know why people have to get nasty, it doesn't accomplish anything and just makes for hard feelings. Especially when you are busting your rear end to better your lives. Be proud of what you have done, it's not trivial.

Heidi said...

Oh my ... do NOT let people like that get you down.
I think that some bill collectors are trained to act like this. I remember about 10 years ago when I was single and struggling financially, one such person called me at my office and started screaming at me on the phone. Everyone around my desk could hear this person and what she was saying. I was humiliated.
On reflection, I really think you're in your right to call them and ask for a supervisor. Explain to the person what happened. Do you know this woman's name? Explain that you want to cooperate, but you won't tolerate being treated worse than a dog. If you get the same attitude, I'd actually enlist the service of a lawyer that will handle the situation for you. We actually hired a legal firm to handle places that had scourged our credit rankings. Wow, you wouldn't believe how fast our credit reports were cleaned up, and we didn't even have to go through the stress of that. It was worth EVERY PENNEY.
If that's not an option financially for you, then continue to pray for strength. Do not beat yourself up. Only you and God know your pure motives and efforts. You only need to answer to Him.
God bless you -- YOU ARE DOING GREAT! Don't let them get you down.

Denise Ryan said...

Lack of sleep will get you everytime! Add being sick and talking to a bill collector - you couldn't escape!!!! Don't worry, all you can do is your best. Keep the faith!! (And sleep - sleep is the BEST!!) We're all cheering for you!!!

KiddoKare1 said...

Thanks, Linda! Heidi, a lawyer isn't really an option right now. We'll just keep doing the best we can do. I will not let them talk to me like that again. At the time, I was just too tired and couldn't think straight. Denise, sleep is the best! I love sleep. LOL.